Welcome to Discussion Hub

Discussion Hub is a general discussion hub helping you get a little blast from the past. Enjoy coloured usernames, special userbars and a tight-knit community.

Fair or not fair?

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
Okay, I saw this question posted on Facebook today......

If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?


This is my opinion and let me just say that this is coming from a female......

First of all, if the woman doesn't tell the man about the kids in the first place then "no".

Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date? I've never seen a woman do it. So, why would you expect a man to pay for your kids meal as well as your own?

Now, if the relationship progress' to the point that the guy is willing to take care of the kids, regardless if they are his or not, then that's a different conversation. But if you guys are just in the dating stage, especially if it's the first date then I say "no".
 

MrDawn

Moderation Director
Moderator
Joined
Aug 31, 2029
Messages
5,523
Reaction score
180
Points
93
Hubux
$680
Winbux
$0.00
If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?

If a woman lied to me like this. I'd be out. It would look to me that she wants a free meal for herself and her kids. I'm not a very charitable person to begin with. When someone is lying to me to get what they want. I'm definitely not going to give it to them. I'll ask for proof. I'm not stupid. Especially when I have two kids of my own that I'm currently taking care of.

I've had women lie about their pictures too online and they're not very attractive in person. They always use too many filters on their phone and it makes them look like a model when they're not in real life. That's deceptive.

Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date?

Most of the girls I date don't want me around their kids on the very first date. They say they want to wait a month at least before they introduce me to them. They don't know what kind of person I am. So they call a babysitter. However one girl had me around her son after the first 2 dates. But then we ended it things. I just wasn't as interested or attracted to her. So I moved on.
 

Laifot

In The Veils Of Negative Existence
Pink Power
Joined
Aug 10, 2020
Messages
3,367
Reaction score
814
Points
143
Location
Asunción, Paraguay
Hubux
$415
Winbux
$3.50
Emerald Membership (1 Year)
Rebel
No kids on the first date, remember it's a matter of time, you have know little by little, also i think it's kinda bad to show up with your kids to someone you don't know, what happens if the guy is some kind of sicko that if things don't go well he might do something to the kids?
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
I agree also with what @Terminated said. The woman shouldn't be using the man to get a free meal for her children. If you are going to have the guy over for a date, you should hire a babysitter and let them deal with your kids. Your kids shouldn't be his problem, especially if this is the very first date.

Now, if the guy offers to pony up and pay for food for your kids, then you should be sure to say "thank you" and let him know how much you appreciate the offer (and really mean it). But you shouldn't expect that from a man you just met.
 

Ashlynn S

Has big shoes to fill
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
674
Reaction score
165
Points
73
Hubux
$2,683
Winbux
$0.00
Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date?
I think that sums it up right there.

Assuming that it is not an actual date date, but something where both people know that the kids are going to be there, then that's a whole different thing already.
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
I think that sums it up right there.

Assuming that it is not an actual date date, but something where both people know that the kids are going to be there, then that's a whole different thing already.

I know. Normally, when a guy and a girl go on an actual date date, you don't bring your kids with you. Any decent person isn't going to let some random stranger meet their kids on the first date. So, expecting them to buy their kids a meal shouldn't even come up to begin with.
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
I'd listen to their story why kids are suddenly showing up, maybe go half on the bill but I would lose a lot of faith in the woman if they did that.

No woman is going to show up, on the first date with a guy she doesn't know, and ask the guy to buy dinner for her children. One, no woman is going to let a guy she's just meeting for the first time, suddenly meet her kids. She's going to get to know the guy first before introducing the kids to him. So, asking the guy to feed her kids on the first date is out of the question.
 

Ash

Founder & Former Owner
Diamond Member
Joined
May 30, 2020
Messages
8,135
Reaction score
1,571
Points
143
Location
Your Backyard
Hubux
$3,875
Winbux
$0.00
Wake Up To Reality!
FSociety
They are going to have to have a pretty good reason as to why her kids are on our first date. I'm not sure I could leave right away but I definitely would not be paying for the kids. That's on her since that's not what we agreed to in the first place.
 

Lämmchen

She walks with grace
Administrator
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
1,078
Reaction score
340
Points
113
Location
United States
Website
christianityhaven.com
Hubux
$1,346
Winbux
$0.00
Birthday
Was it agreed upon in the first place that the man would pay at all? I know when I was younger that it was assumed that the man would pay but does that still hold true today?

If a woman showed up with her kids and it wasn't agreed upon then before they even enter the restaurant the conversation needs to be had on who would pay. If that woman is so irresponsible to not even talk about this prior then why would the man even want to continue any relationship with her?
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
Was it agreed upon in the first place that the man would pay at all? I know when I was younger that it was assumed that the man would pay but does that still hold true today?

If a woman showed up with her kids and it wasn't agreed upon then before they even enter the restaurant the conversation needs to be had on who would pay. If that woman is so irresponsible to not even talk about this prior then why would the man even want to continue any relationship with her?

That use to be the thing when I was dating but I've been married 20 years (as of next month).

But I agree with you. I think that if the woman shows up at the first date with her kids without talking to the guy about it prior to the date then I wouldn't trust her with other stuff in the future.
 

Demon_skeith

Guru of Hubbers
Joined
Jun 11, 2020
Messages
2,406
Reaction score
334
Points
113
Website
gaminglatest.com
Hubux
$3,809
Winbux
$0.30
No woman is going to show up, on the first date with a guy she doesn't know, and ask the guy to buy dinner for her children. One, no woman is going to let a guy she's just meeting for the first time, suddenly meet her kids. She's going to get to know the guy first before introducing the kids to him. So, asking the guy to feed her kids on the first date is out of the question.

I'm sure there are some out there who sink so low.
 

Kylie

Wild Thing
Diamond Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
8,346
Reaction score
939
Points
143
Location
USA
Hubux
$12,569
Winbux
$512.00
RAINBOWWWW!
Catch That Pokémon
Bill Gates... No, Kylie Rich
If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?
This sentence confuses me. Where is he showing up and where did he get the dinner for 2?
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
I'm sure there are some out there who sink so low.

Well, my standards aren't.

This sentence confuses me. Where is he showing up and where did he get the dinner for 2?

If memory serves me right, I saw someone post that same question on Facebook. I just posted that question here out of curiosity.

Anyway, I thought the guy was showing up at the girls' house with the food in hand. Or rather that's what I had assumed.
 

Kylie

Wild Thing
Diamond Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
8,346
Reaction score
939
Points
143
Location
USA
Hubux
$12,569
Winbux
$512.00
RAINBOWWWW!
Catch That Pokémon
Bill Gates... No, Kylie Rich
Anyway, I thought the guy was showing up at the girls' house with the food in hand.
That's what I thought too. In that case, how do we know the kids are even there? Perhaps she arranged for someone ( Grandparents, a friend, etc.) to watch the kids overnight so she and her date wouldn't be interrupted.
 

JennyorAlice

Full Time Hubber
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
170
Points
93
Location
U. S. A.
Hubux
$1,263
Winbux
$0.00
If it were me, I would have scheduled the date when the kid(s) were having a sleep over at a friends house or spending the night at their grandparents or staying at the babysitters house (instead of the babysitter coming to my house).

If something happens and the kids can't go to their friends house or to their grandparents or to the babysitters for whatever reason, I would have called the guy before he showed up to inform him of what had occurred. That way, we could reschedule things or at least there wouldn't be any surprises going on.
 
Top