A person with anger issues
- Thread starter Kylie
- Start date
I would not even ask but just walk away, do not want to get a black eye
My daughter was going through some anger issues and some minor behavioral problems. I sat down and discussed her anger with her. She pointed out that her anger stems from her mom not ever seeing her and the divorce. She's not a bad kid. She listens, makes good grades, and mostly obeys me.
I'm hoping her issue with the divorce and dealing with the thoughts of her mom's mental illness coupled with drug addiction doesn't grow anymore than it already has because I don't want to resort to counseling.
She had feelings of guilt about the divorce and felt she contributed to it. I have told my daughter that her mom leaving me was not her fault. I told my daughter that me and her mom did NOT get along at ALL. We had severe marital problems that started as early as 2008. I was in denial and told myself over and over that it was my fault and I could fix it. I played down the problems rather than break up and get a annulment.
I told my daughter that her mom left me twice before she was born. Had an affair 2 months after the marriage. Left me 3 times after she was born, went and stayed with her parents. Again my ex wife told me she wanted to leave me before my son was born in 2012 and then left and came back 4 more times thereafter. IN 2018 she started having another affair with a drug dealer named Chad whom she claimed was an old friend from school and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I was so stupid and she knew it.
All of this bullshit before we separated and I filed for divorce in 2019. During that time she went through a total of 9 other men that she and her sister told me about to try and hurt my feelings.
I filed for divorce in November 2019 because I knew it was over, I was angry, didn't like being cheated on or being given a bacterial STI infection (I didn't tell my kids that their mom knowingly gave me Chlamydia because I didn't feel that part of the story was appropriate at their age.)
So on and so forth. She understands that it was a toxic and depressing marriage and both her and her brother knows that it's not their fault and she's been doing better since than.
My son on the other hand doesn't seem to want anything to do with his mom as he rarely talks to her on the phone. His anger is different. He doesn't show that he's angry or does it cause him to have behavioral problems at home or at school. He simply doesn't like to talk about it. He has mentioned he's angry with his mom. He hasn't gone into depth about it.
I think it's a very sad story how my ex wife has thrown everything away. She couldn't get a grip and had a quarter life crisis which led to her abusing meth and other drugs. She literally threw everything away. Even her own 2 kids who loved her more than anything in the world have given up on her and she'll soon lose them too. When they moved in with me full time. All they wanted was her and she wasn't there. Now they've grown used to her absence.
I think that's the best approach with everyone. When someone gets pissed off, trying to calm them down normally makes them madder.
I don't normally approach a person with anger issues. I tend to leave them alone. Especially if it's none of my business in the first place. If they want to talk about it with me, then that's one thing. But I won't poke around......
My brother and grand father have some deep anger issues, they are normally fine unless you push their buttons.
I will just talk to him or her calmly. If he or she became agitated, I will stop and do it again.