Do you think long distant relationships have a chance?

[Shole]

Personally i think they do as I am in one right now and I want it to last as much as possible. But a lot of people say it's not possible

 

[Demon_skeith]

If both people are dedicated it can work out, but it's not an easy thing and I'm hopeful to not deal with it.

 

[Kylie]

I guess it really depends on the situation. If you trust and love someone enough, then I'm sure it could work. You just have to wait for each other. Although I have heard plenty of stories where someone has trusted someone, and then had their heart broken when it comes to Long Distance relationships. Long Distance relationships vary, they can be great, just fine, or they can go terribly, terribly wrong.

 

[MrDawn]

If both people are dedicated it can work out, but it's not an easy thing and I'm hopeful to not deal with it.

I agree. There's been some cases where people have been in long distance relationships for years and never see the other person. I couldn't do it. I don't have the temperament, patience, or state of mind to pull that off.

 

[Kylie]

My friend (in the U.S.) just ended a 2 year LDR with a guy from the UK. In the end, the distance and not being able to physically be together proved to much for her,

 

[Lämmchen]

How long the couple plans on being separated in their long distance really plays a role on if they can keep the relationship going. If it hasn't been decided then I doubt it could last. If they have plans for a year and then will get married or something then there is hope.

 

[Demon_skeith]

I had a friend that did a few, he got too wild with one as the gf he was seeing in NYC flew him out there to live together, lasted a few years but dealt a heavy blow to him mentally when they broke up.

 

[Kylie]

Personally i think they do as I am in one right now and I want it to last as much as possible. But a lot of people say it's not possible

How long have you been in this LDR and how are things going?

 

[MrDawn]

I had a friend that did a few, he got too wild with one as the gf he was seeing in NYC flew him out there to live together, lasted a few years but dealt a heavy blow to him mentally when they broke up.

In the past, I've been in several long distance relationships that failed in a matter of months. I've talked to many women online and some that I wasn't sure about because they lived in other states. I met a girl that lived 30 minutes out of town. I've seen girls that lived 3 hours away. I talked to this girl that I really wanted to be with who lived in New Jersey.

The girl in New Jersey blew my mind. It's nice to dream about people we can't have but if I can not verify that person's existence, than I shouldn't continue talking to them. I wasn't willing to travel to New Jersey and I didn't bother asking her to fly down to Missouri. I didn't feel that there was a point.

Here's the good thing about local women. I can meet someone local within a week of matching with them on Tinder and we can both demonstrate to each other that we exist. A person who lives in another state, can catfish you and it's tough getting them to verify their existence without being skeptical of them or suspecting that who ever you're talking to is hiding behind someone else's picture.

 

[Kyng]

As someone who's currently in one, I certainly hope so!

However, we do live only two hours apart, so it's feasible for us to see one another (and indeed, we do try to do so at least once a month). It'd be so much harder if we never saw one another, like in my previous relationship...

 

[Laifot]

I was into one several years ago. It was a tragic feeling of lack of trust into the other that escalated badly and it just banished as it never existed.

We met and been together (iykwim) but overall it's so hard to trust someone you can't actually see, you need to know body language and much more aspects to really know things are going the right way.

But whatever, i'd say if you are into one, just go along with it as long as it makes you happy.

 

[Kylie]

As someone who's currently in one, I certainly hope so!

However, we do live only two hours apart, so it's feasible for us to see one another (and indeed, we do try to do so at least once a month). It'd be so much harder if we never saw one another, like in my previous relationship...

How long have you been in this LDR?

 

[Ashlynn S]

Seems like it is going to be an unpopular opinion in this thread, but I don't think that they do.

Speaking for myself, if I was certain and convinced that this was the person that I wanted to be with and spend my life with then I would find a way for us to not be distant but to move and be together.

 

[Sharon]

My now husband and I were only dating for about 3 months when he joined the military. So a lot of our relationship was long distance. However, we stuck it out and made it a point to see and speak with each other as often as we were able. We did that for about 2 years and lived together about 6 months before we decided to get married. Writing it out makes it seem so unrealistic in a way but it's what happened. I must say almost 9 years in... within the last 4 years is really when we got to learn how to actually live together and grow as unit. For a long while there we had two separate lives almost where his things were his and mine was mine. After some personal reflection and getting on the same page as far as family goals etc we now have a... each other first, the rest after mentality.

In short, LDR can work but it take two to tango. If one party doesn't put as much effort inevitably the other will feel resentful.

 

[JennyorAlice]

I think it depends on the two people involved in the relationship. If they are willing to make it work then there is a chance. But if either party isn't committed to it, then the LDR is going to fall flat on it's face.

 

[Laifot]

My now husband and I were only dating for about 3 months when he joined the military. So a lot of our relationship was long distance. However, we stuck it out and made it a point to see and speak with each other as often as we were able. We did that for about 2 years and lived together about 6 months before we decided to get married. Writing it out makes it seem so unrealistic in a way but it's what happened. I must say almost 9 years in... within the last 4 years is really when we got to learn how to actually live together and grow as unit. For a long while there we had two separate lives almost where his things were his and mine was mine. After some personal reflection and getting on the same page as far as family goals etc we now have a... each other first, the rest after mentality.

In short, LDR can work but it take two to tango. If one party doesn't put as much effort inevitably the other will feel resentful.

Wait, your case is different because you already met your couple, in most cases you don't have that possibility.. at least for me i just had 1 chance to see it and i lost a huge amount of money.

 

[Kylie]

i just had 1 chance to see it and i lost a huge amount of money.

How long into the relationship did you meet her in person and how far away from you did she live?

 

[Sharon]

@Laifot Yes that is risky. I've heard success stories however in my opinion more often than not they don't work because of the logistics. Relationships are difficult and if they're not it probably means that the couple aren't going deep enough into the things that matter most to them. If there are no disagreements and everything is peachy all of the time, someone is silently doing the compromising and in the end resentment is inevitable. It's easier to build a foundation with someone in person because you can feel them and see them and being in close proximity with someone allows a different level of intimacy (I don't mean just the sexual kind either). Establishing a long distant relationship apart initially is not impossible however, in my opinion it requires more work. The end goal should be to be with each other physically otherwise, it's not a relationship it's simply an impression of each other and there will always be that layer of not understanding each other's "real" world because they're not a part of it.

 

[Kyng]

How long have you been in this LDR?

7 months so far. We're hoping to move in together at some point, but we have no plans to do that just yet .

 

[apathy]

Absolutely, but they're not for most people.
I've had 2 different friends who have made long distance work. One friend was in the US and was dating someone in a different US state, and the other friend is someone I went to school with who was dating someone who lived in the UK.
In both cases, they're living with their partners now, have their own homes, and couldn't really be any happier. But I think in most peoples cases trust issues and what not are going to prevent them from working out long-term.